So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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