i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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