there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize