people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize