woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
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He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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