Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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