Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize