im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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