im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize