Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize