i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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