There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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