At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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