I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize