tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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