Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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