Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
birth control should be required to get into college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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