i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize