go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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