Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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