dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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