Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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