i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize