Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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