If that was your dad, he is hot
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize