Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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