Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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