So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
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I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
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Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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