It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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