Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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