Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i jhust puked up my retainher.

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  (313): i jhust puked up my retainher. http://tfl.nu/zdlf
  Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.

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  (860): i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him. http://tfl.nu/6b9m
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  (212): View more from New York

  her vagina looked like bernie madoff

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  (212): her vagina looked like bernie madoff http://tfl.nu/jcdd
  Replies (23) Good night (491) Bad night (3824) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.

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  (440): I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew. http://tfl.nu/1ouh
  Replies (19) Good night (4747) Bad night (510)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel

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  (336): There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel http://tfl.nu/7mru
  Replies (16) Good night (761) Bad night (3307) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours

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  (908): we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours http://tfl.nu/0by6
  Replies (11) Good night (4576) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?

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  (510): just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right? http://tfl.nu/dlby
  Replies (57) Good night (4054) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."

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  (410): She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing." http://tfl.nu/ngah
  Replies (36) Good night (678) Bad night (5812) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.

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  (267): She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point. http://tfl.nu/pwj5
  Replies (28) Good night (5024) Bad night (1661) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?

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  (425): Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fd94
  Replies (8) Good night (5540) Bad night (698) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.

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  (208): New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry. http://tfl.nu/cesa
  Replies (10) Good night (2543) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.

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  (505): All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice. http://tfl.nu/9vs4
  Replies (9) Good night (2703) Bad night (989)
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  (315): View more from New York

  The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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  (315): The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/v27u
  Replies (3) Good night (2694) Bad night (714) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat

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  (920): I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat http://tfl.nu/rpn1
  Replies (3) Good night (449) Bad night (1306) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.

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  (806): Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/evhw
  Replies (9) Good night (823) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt

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