so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
