im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
