hotel room ftw
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize