I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize