it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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