Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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