me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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