Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm too high and old for this...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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