I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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