im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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