nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i drank out of a bidet.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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