Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
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It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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