Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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