oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
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there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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