I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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