Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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