she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Everclear isn't food dammit
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize