It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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