You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize