Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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