I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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