I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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